Guest management
How to build a guest list without the family drama
A practical method for deciding who to invite: tiers, budgets, plus ones, children and the awkward conversations, with a spreadsheet-free way to track it.
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The guest list decides your venue, your budget and much of your mood in the months before an event. It is also where most family disagreements start. A clear method keeps it fair and calm.
Start with the number, not the names
Work out how many people you can host from two limits:
- Budget per guest: food, drink, chairs, favours
- Venue capacity: the seated number, not the standing one
Your guest list number is the smaller of the two. Write it down before anyone suggests a name.
Use tiers
Sort everyone into tiers:
- Must invite: immediate family, the closest friends, anyone you would be hurt not to see
- Should invite: extended family, good friends, close colleagues
- Would like to invite: everyone else
Fill the list tier by tier until you reach your number. Tier 3 becomes your B list: people you invite later if tier 1 and 2 guests decline. Send B-list invitations no later than five to six weeks before the event, so they don't feel like an afterthought.
Set rules, then apply them to everyone
Most drama comes from exceptions. Agree on rules first:
- Plus ones: only for married, engaged or long-term couples, or for everyone
- Children: none, family only, or all
- Colleagues: whole team, only those you see outside work, or none
- "We haven't spoken in years": if you wouldn't call them to share good news, don't invite them
When someone asks for an exception, you can point to the rule instead of making it personal.
Split the list fairly
For weddings, a common split is a third for each family and a third for the couple, or half and half. Agree on it early and let each side manage their own share.
Keep one list, not five
Spreadsheets, notes apps and group chats drift apart. Keep one guest list with:
| Field | Why |
|---|---|
| Name and household | Who the invitation is for |
| Seats | How many people it covers |
| Group | Family, friends, work; for filtering and seating |
| Contact | Email or phone for WhatsApp |
| Reply and notes | Attending, dietary needs, anything else |
Track replies as they arrive
Once invitations go out, the list becomes your control panel: who said yes, who hasn't opened the invitation and who needs a nudge. A live headcount also tells you when to start sending B-list invitations.
einvitation keeps the list, the invitations and every reply together. Start with a free account and import your list from a spreadsheet in a minute.
